Let’s cross over.  Let’s leave the place where the negativity and the hostility, the impatience and the boredom, the insecurity and the sadness take up space in our minds and cross over.  Nothingness is more attractive to visit than those places.  I am focusing on balance now (while squirming, standing on one foot and leaning to the side, arms waving to stay up) and it is coming along nicely.  I envision a time when I will spread my painted toes, lock my scarred knee, hook my left foot around my right calf, close my eyes, hold out my arms, and stand perfectly, unwaveringly, delightfully still.  It’s a process, that kind of balance.  Life cannot be enjoyed living too far on either side of center, just as Ketut told Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love. I know that book and movie have gotten criticism and praise alike, but I can’t help but identify with her.  The twisty paths my life has taken have been neither unbearable nor earthshaking.  But I feel that I cannot be prepared for either if I am not living in the center, balancing Play and Pleasure with Focus and Faith.  I am opening my mind to light and love and fancy ideas, pushing out the dark places that harbor feelings that make me sad, keep me awake at night, and make me think I’m missing something that I don’t really want.  I’ve been taking steps to get there: sometimes small, sometimes leaps, sometimes somersaults out of an airplane, but most days just steps, one foot in front of the other, mindful of the person I want to grow into.  I’m working on it, this crossing over thing.  Maybe I’ll always be working on it…but at least I’m doing something.


2 thoughts on “Attraversiamo

  1. I loved that movie — and that philosophy. Good to hear that you’re being intentional and conscious of living life more “in the center,” and keeping your mind open for where (and to what) that might lead you.

    Sounds like you’ve been on quite a few adventures lately! Would love to catch up and hear more about them!

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