Sure, I spent most of this year not being a mommy. We decided in January to start trying to have a baby, but I really didn’t think I would be able to get pregnant. In April, my body proved me wrong when a giant plus sign showed up on a stick and I ran downstairs waving it in the air to Jon, who responded, “Are you shitting me?” (Major points for him, right? Oy.) Thus began the pregnancy journey, which was, relatively speaking, an easy several months. No morning sickness. No swelling. No significant fatigue. Just some back pain, which was there before pregnancy. And then…with five-and-a-half weeks before our baby girl’s due date…my water broke.
I was at Authentic Beauty getting my brows done by the fabulous Aly Hoag at 6pm on Tuesday, December 9. I squeezed in the appointment between work obligations–I was due back at school for the chorus concert at 7pm. Baby Girl had other plans. I stood up to check out at the salon and there was this…gush. So gross. And it didn’t stop. So I called my dear husband, who again responded, “Are you shitting me?” (Points.) And then I drove myself to his office and we went home together to wait for the on-call doctor to return my frantic message. This could not be happening. I have five more weeks! No bags are packed! It’s too early! Is the baby going to be ok? Am I going to be ok? We went to the hospital at 8pm, contractions started at 9pm, and I labored for three hours before being taken back for a C-section because Baby Girl was breech. In a whirlwind, I was given a spinal block, laid out on a table, cut open, and handed my screaming, gorgeous, 5lb 11oz, 19-inch, crazy-legged baby girl. I’ve never cried like that before. Pure joy mixed in with overwhelming relief that she was here, that she was ok.
That was three weeks ago today. Since then, I’ve made tremendous strides recovering from surgery, and my premature baby has championed her early birth experience and refused to act like a preemie. She was never sent to the NICU; instead, she and I spent her first five days skin-to-skin to regulate her blood sugar, body temperature, breastfeeding ability, and overall development. She is eating and sleeping perfectly and has started to show tiny parts of her personality.
Becoming a mother is more magical, but also more overwhelming, than I ever imagined. I can’t believe how much I love her, how much I want to hold her, how protective I am of her. I have three months to stay at home with her before I have to go back to work, and I know that I need to savor every single moment, for I will never have so much time with her again. We are in full-on hibernation mode, perfect for the cold dreary days we’ve been having this month.
Jon and I are so thankful for the thoughtfulness of our family and friends who have visited, sent texts and cards, called with offers to help, and made us feel so loved and cared for.
2014 was 365 days long, but it will forever be defined for me as the year I became a mommy.
Cheers to the coming days, weeks, years of parenthood!