I’m just over halfway through my second pregnancy, and I am struck by how different this one is from my first. I hate to admit this, especially in writing, but I have really struggled with this pregnancy. I am so tired, so overwhelmed, and so busy with Elizabeth and my dissertation that I haven’t had–or taken–the time to be amazed by the miracle that is going on inside. Yesterday marked a shift for me. For most of the morning and again later in the afternoon, Baby Girl was a little ninja, giving me the pleasure of feeling her move all over my tummy. It was the first time that she moved for so long that I was 100% sure it was her and not…gas. I was in a workshop and as I was listening to the presenter or reading a passage, I would just smile as I felt her do her little dance moves inside. How special of an experience it is to carry a child. How lucky and blessed I am to be able to do it. I didn’t really know it, but I needed yesterday to get my head and my heart on track with this pregnancy. Up until now, I mostly just resented the restrictions (good god I miss wine) and felt tired and scared that something was wrong with the baby. And my back is already aching, which is not a good sign for the 18 weeks left to come. But I’m growing a tiny human. She and I are together all day every day. We’ve already started bonding, a process that no one else can start until she is born. I already love being her mommy.
Other not-so-sappy things I love about pregnancy:
- My protruding tummy pulls in my love-handles, so my sides are much smoother and more taut
- I don’t dwell on my hips and thighs, problem areas I’ve bemoaned since I was 12, because my tummy gets all of my attention
- I absolutely love to eat, pregnant or not, so now I can eat more often and feel fully justified
- Clothing choices are simple because I don’t have a whole closet full of maternity clothes
Five months down, just over four more to go…here’s hoping she doesn’t make an early debut like her Big Sister did!